Foundation : Ying & Yang

Both Mathematics and Music are the Ying & Yang for me. Both are equally important. I love both. It keep my life balanced, and sane. Because of tutoring math, I got money to produce music. It's symbiotic and harmony. One couldn't exist without the other. Deepak Chopra said it beautifully : 

 Both mathematics & music are the language of the universe expressing truth ,harmony & beauty.

Between the two, the foundation or 'ground' is obviously Mathematics. It's stable and predictable. I've been tutoring for nearly 6 years, and the demand for it consistent throughout the years. Now I want to open my own tuition center, and prepare my own modul. Initially I love solving math, but my passion for teaching grew over time. That's why I don't think I will ever quit teaching as time goes. I even have a dream to build my own 'private school'. Insyallah  and Amin.

As  for music, it's more volatile, unstable and unpredictable. The uncertainty of the music industry, and the 'small Malaysia market' does not help. But don't get me wrong; I still love producing music, and had a bold vision of going big; to make Sajakiri brand as a household name in Asia. Music is more than hobby. I still want to jam once a week, and produce new material once a month. It just matter of priority.

Can I achieve excellence in both field simultaneously? I know it ain't easy, but that is exactly the direction I want to go. Actually, it is more natural (for me) to do both simultaneously, than just one of it independently. Both are essence of me - I remember when I was in Form , I was (famously?) known as a math geek (I always got highest marks in Add Math), and a guitar enthusiast (one of the rare musician), both at the same time.

Sajakiri Band

My first time ever jamming when I was 14 years old. I still remember the date : 30th April 1993, on Friday. Together with Jaja, Mam & Ijol, we jammed at Black Widow on the basement of AsiaJaya, currently known as Armada Hotel in PJ, just back of our school Bukit Bintang Boys Secondary School. 

Now, 18 years later, the urge is still strong. I thought at the age of 32, and 'post-married', my 'jamming spirit' would gone, but it is still intact though.

For me, jamming is a part of creative process, not just practice per se. I love to play new riiffs, or different solo on the same song, and sometime 'unintentionally' writing a new melody. It was fun, and challenging at the same time. The bad thing was I totally forgot the new idea, unless it was recorded.

Sajakiri Band

Sajakiri is my pet music project, and I would like to have a live band for it. I want the band to active performing for shows, competition, or even promotion. For that purposes, though I love jamming so much, I would like to have a 'satellite band'.

What is satellite band?

Satellite band is a term I created, meaning "I am the heart & soul (composer) of the band, but Im not playing live in the band". I would like to focus my role as a 'coach' of the band. Im still the principal songwriter and a part of the band, but for the live show, I would not involve. That means I gotta find another guitarist to replace me. I would still attend the jamming session to guide them, and managing their show & recording schedule, but I don't have to be 24-7 with the band.

I am not 'physical' part of the band, but the 'soul' part of the band.

Science & Math Institute

Insyallah, pada bulan depan (November), aku akan membeli saham sebuah pusat tuisyen berhampiran dengan rumahku dengan harga RM6,666. Lain-lain rakan kongsi adalah Cikgu Zul dan Hafizul. Dari tahun 2009 lagi, kami bertiga bercita-cita untuk menubuhkan pusat tuisyen bersama, yang mana fokusnya lebih menjurus kepada sains dan matematik. Insyallah, jika tiada aral melintang, pusat tuisyen idaman kami ini akan kami realisasikan pada tahun depan (2012). Amin.

Pengiraan gaji adalah perkongsian keuntungan (profit-sharing), bukan lagi kadar masa (hour rate). Aku mengajar Add Math, Zul mengajar Matematik Moden, dan Haziful mengajar sains, fizik dan kimia. Ini adalah langkah terbesar diriku, setelah 6 tahun mengajar. Kedua-dua Zul dan Hafizul pernah/sedang memiliki pusat tuisyen sendiri.

Dari segi modulnya pula, aku sudah menyediakan sedikit sebanyak, tapi masih belum menyeluruh lagi. Aku masih tidak pasti adakah dengan mensyaratkan 'Math - PMR : A' sebagai syarat ke kelasku. Tengoklah nanti.

Isu terbesar buat masa sekarang adalah realibiti salah seorang guru kami. Beliau guru yang efektif dan bagus, dan disukai pelajar. Tapi beliau sering dilanda masalah kesihatan, dan sering tidak dapat hadir untuk mengajar. Kesian beliau. Kalau tuisyen peibadi (one-to-one) mungkin tidak apa, tapi kalau kelas yang punyai ramai pelajar, mungkin sukar untuk menukar waktu, dan akan menimbulkan rasa kurang senang pada ibu bapa jika kelas dibatalkan, atau kerap diubah jadualnya. Sedikit sebanyak nama pusat tuisyen akan terjejas. Apatah lagi jika beliau mengajar banyak kelas.

Ini isu terbesar, sebelum kami bermula. Ini adalah asam garam bisnes. Insyallah kami bertiga akan berbincang untuk mencari jalan penyelesaiannya. 

Gambar hiasan : Sekolah swasta Tenby Schools di Setia Alam

Hijrah : Satu Kanvas Kosong

Sesudah berkahwin, aku merasakan seumpama penghijrahan. Bukan sahaja perubahan lokasi fizikal ke Taman Subang Murni, tapi juga dari segi mental dan jiwa. Segala-galanya telah 'direset'. Kini telah terpisah dari idealogi keluarga terdahulu, kini terpulang kepadaku untuk mencorakkan idealogi baru kepada famili baruku ini. Menarik. Selamat datang kepada diriku sendiri.

Tekanan untuk lebih berjaya dalam karierku dapat kurasakan. Jangan salah sangka, ini tekanan yang sihat, dan telah lama kunantikan. Alhamdulillah, platform sudah ada. Cuma tinggal perlaksanaan yang lebih menyeluruh dan jitu sahaja.

Melalui pembacaan berulang-kaliku buku 'Good to Great' oleh Jim Collins, hampir 80% potensi kejayaan itu terletak pada 'siapa yang kita berkawan/bergaul'. Ini bukan nepotisme, tapi lebih kepada 'the right who' yang dapat membantu kita dalam perlaksaan sesuatu projek. Lebih kepada 'pembentukkan pasukan' daripada nepotisme semata. Malah Jim Collins menekankan betapa pentingnya 'siapa' berbanding 'visi' sekalipun. 'First who, then what'. Agak memeranjatkan juga beliau mengesahkan teori itu tepat setelah membuat kajian selama 6 tahun.

"It's not where U go, it's with WHO U go"

Atas inisiatif ini, aku ingin membeli Zoom H1 Recorder, untuk menemuramah 'mereka' yang lebih hebat dariku. Untuk tujuan pembelajaran (jangka masa pendek) dan persahabatan (jangka masa panjang). Demi untuk 'meniru' dan belajar cara mereka berfikir dan seterusnya menjadi sehebat dan seberjaya seperti mereka, Insyallah.

Siapa kita? Tengoklah siapa kawan kita. 

Zoom H1 Recorder

The journey continues...

Further reading.

I wrote this on 7th Jan 2009, or 32 months ago. I wrote this when I moved from my father house, live together with 'strangers' in an apartment (the strangers turn out to be the famous Ahmad Fedtri Yahya, TV3 Host). Sense of loneliness at that time, separated from family, and really have nobody, feel like a loser. At 30 years old of age.

But now, 32 months later, my life turned 360-degree. Alhamdulillah, now I have wife, who loves me dearly (and unconditionally), house (thank U abah), a 'new' car, my music project Sajakiri, and insyallah will start my own tuition center soon. Life is miracle. My life changed rapidly in those 32 months, than in the last 10 years. How it could be?

Every single nite, before sleep, I will write 'syukur', list of 3 to 5 things that I most grateful for the day. I never miss write it down. Whether the day was 'sunshine' or 'gloomy', I just keep writing it nevertheless. It is a good practice to remind myself how 'lucky' and 'fortunate' I am. Irregardless of the external circumstances.

Alhamdulillah, it works well for me. Not only that, my relationship with people, especially with my family, significantly improve as well. I always believe the best doa is 'bersyukur', rather than 'plain ask' from God, wallahuakhlam.

Now again, a new chapter in my life. Like before, I don't have any 'clear' clue of 'what should I do next'. Life is like a long journey back home, U cant see the actual destination (but U can imagine it), U can only see hundreds meter away. Life is a mystery. Mystery is beautiful and I love it. It will keep life interesting. I really look forward in my future, and what it hold for me.